A disappointing insight into myself

I am sad to admit that I am not a badass. For years I have had this notion that I am - or better put - would be, if put in the right situation. I have been grooming myself with what I consider to be badass-appropriate activities: longboarding down steep hills, kickboxing, the Polar Bear Dip, rock climbing and once I shot guns in Indiana (it was awesome). So when I climbed over the fence of a bridge overlooking a river 100 meters below, 30 meters of which I would be free falling, I pictured myself fearlessly leaping off at the count of three. This was my chance to take it to the next level. I would channel Angelina Jolie.


Instead I stood on the platform for a few minutes before deciding I wouldn´t be able to force myself to jump. Defeated, I climbed back down and got out of my harness to watch another friend try their luck. Thankfully the desire to live out my fantasy of being a full-fledged adrenaline-seeking bridge-jumping badass chick eventually won out over my (somewhat rational) fear, and I found myself back on the edge. I had decided I should jump off immediately to get it over with.

Two minutes later and I still haven´t jumped. Everyone is shouting at me about how easy it is. "Don't think!" I ask myself, ¨Why is this so difficult? Just do it!¨ I knew I would be forever shamed if I backed down again. And so, in a moment of clarity, I stepped off. I immediately regretted the decision, but by then I was free falling. When I landed, I thought I had thrown out my back, but at that point was so ecstatic at what I had just done I didn´t care. Turns out I messed up my neck - but I paid $15 two days later for a chiropractor from California to (literally) snap it back into place.


Welcome to Baños, Ecuador, where the tourism activities are all rugged and outdoors. In my week here I´ve toured waterfalls, done a bunch of hiking, seen a (smoking) volcano, biked 40km (in one go), gone four wheeling and of course - jumped off a bridge. I have also had the pleasure of soaking in the town´s namesake - thermal baths full of minerals which alternate between scorching hot and feezing cold. I guess going back and forth between the two is good for your body (even though it feels a bit like being stabbed by a thousand tiny needles). There´s also a lot of massage places around, so I treated myself to an hour´s worth after the bike ride.

Hard to believe that only last week I was lying on the beach and now I´m back in the mountains. I know there´s probably a lot more I could share about the Galapagos, but I´ve been in Baños for a week so that´s what´s on my mind. I´ve realized I´m a very slow traveler, not at all good at getting in and getting out. It seems like the majority of people I meet are always packing in the activities and then moving right along while I just tend to chill and not even necessarily do a whole lot. There´s also just too many places one can visit. I have decided not to feel guilty about the things I´m skipping, because hey, this is all my priority.

A few days ago I watched The Motorcycle Diaries for the first time - the film about the road trip Che Guevara took through South America when he was about my age. It was odd to see him in the same places I had been, witnessing injustices against the indigenous populations that are still occurring today. The difference is that while I too am saddened by the poverty and pain that exists here and throughout the world, I´ve yet to do anything about it. In the movie, a couple who had lost everything and were traveling looking for work asked Che why he was traveling - was he looking for work too? When he said he was traveling just to travel you could see how ridiculous the notion suddenly seemed...That´s how I feel sometimes.

But hey, onwards to Quito then Otavalo then Colombia. I don´t have all the answers and I expect I never will. Some days I feel like I´ve almost reached Nirvana and other days I am completely lost. But such is the nature of my journeys...

PS: I do have a few hundred pictures of the Galapagos which I really want to share, but it´s just such a hassle to download them at the moment that it´ll

have to wait. I know, I´m sorry! I want you to see them as much you to do.